YOU dare to be ME??

hairless days

2007-04-27T10:44:00.000+08:00

hey peeps i'm going in le... pretty long never post much stuff and the last post i'm typing is the last hour before i'm going in... omg time flies

life's been bored and there's almost nothing much happening to me... its just lifeless days working hanging out and slacking... then after i quited, well ya felt kinda moody about friends and family...just felt that i wasnt as sociable as i thought i was... when you settle down and you suddenly realised that the closest friends that you have arent alot... you begin to feel that are you the one to be at fault... maybe i am... but i really dont know why.... just felty this way...

mm changed my blog skin... haha just something plain and melancholic and the music was very serene... haha got the music from -day after tomorrow- it just gives you the feeling of peace beacuse there's nobody around... haha nice music to listen to in the rain...

yes the day after tomorrow i'll be botak and ding morning pt... haha bye peeps

relax and work

2007-01-28T00:37:00.000+08:00

yo peeps

was trying to blog for these few days after i quitted but it seems that my blog's down for some god knows what reasons... but yupz finally can blog...

16th feb - tues
well 1st day of my jobless days... haha woke up in the morning and went down dhoby ghout 1st... went ps creative to find ot the aurvana headphones cost how much... it was 169 there so since the guy at funan offered me 140 so decided not to buy there and went down to sunshine plaza before goin down funan... bought myself a gundam... haha not very ex one but pretty cool... mm wet funan and got myself that headphone... haha worth the hard work la the headphone was great... not the best but i couldnt ask for anything better... enjoy ar!!

wed
went with cnnie go vivo find justin to check out the imac and search for jobs... mm fruitless day some more i damn blur blur that day...

thurs
morning called levi's anne and scheduled an interview on fri...mm then meet bei to buy her stuff for sth den some more since justin need to pay mr tong stuff so the 3 of us meet up chatted and went around shoping... went to this shop besides bugis domanchi... saw 2 shirts i really liked, a black and a white, both long sleeves... but total around a hundred... not really worth the money now... haha see if i can find something similiar and cheaper... walked around then after that bei left for tuition then me and justin went sommerset to find peifen... mm ate then the two of us went heeren... managed to get an interview for a shop called C.A.P... nice jeans and shirts...

fri
went to levi's there interview... super short interview... really nothing much...

sat
forgotten le... should be nothing much ba...

sun
got my imac... haha dad decide to get one ourself... then rush down back to j8 to watch death note 2 with xin yu... hey finally the girl is free... haha not really good movie but haha fun seeing xin yu's reactions... damn funny la, the way she covered her mouth on every twists kick the chairs and tying to tear off my sleeves as though she's watching a horror movie... wahaha

mon
was trying to solve some problems on my com in the morning then in the afternoon bei came to my house to study maths... figured out that i've really really rusted after so long not touching maths... haha... then anne called and ask me to go down bugis seiyu and start work there on fri...

tues
asked justin to come over my house to tie up the loose ends on y com... mm then around evening went over to bugis to find connie tian and bei... cam over to my house and had a short mahjong session... haha...

wed
went out with diane and karen for a short shopping trip before goin hom pretty early with mayday's latest album... love the song tian shi... haha its me... anything angels and devils i'll like and some more the song is really good... finally found my tian shi...

thurs
haha bei's b'dae... haha i was the 1st to sing her b'dae song... some more live through the webcam... wahaha... mm started the day goin down to city hall to get her miss sixty perfume... then meet justin and tian to find bei her speaker... mm ate kfc for lunch... then went to this boardgame cafe where we saw this waitress that looks like xiying... she's very very pretty... some more looks demure looks only la... then some more without makeup but really very sweet and so omg that i dont even dare to look at her, afraid that i might blush.... haha.. had fun playing games and went down bei's house play mahjong chit chat sing song eat cake... haha at the end of the day i'm ust glad that bei's happy as i've told her that she will even though she has doubts about it at the start...

fri
1st day of levi's work... omg no staff price!!! that means i need to go buy jeans asap... haha nice crew and i learnt alot about jeans... maybe not alot more than the general public but at least i've gain alot of knowledge than i am before... haha share with u guys next time...

sat
today... nth much just that i managed to hav decent sales and got used to the guy's section... but the ladies' side i'll need some more time...meet the rest of the staff.. really fun crew to work with but too bad today i get t know that i'm only at seiyu bugis for training... then most prob i'll be transferred somewhere else...

to be continued...

finally rest!!

2007-01-16T02:10:00.000+08:00

ooops
forgot to add in my last post that i'm working with this company that sells fitness consoles and their games... mm tiring... especially i have to shout run jump hop dance box squat and promote my stuff all at the same time... here are my activities...

fri 5th jan-
started our work at toa payoh with justin... not much customers and most of the time i'm trying to get used to the products and games cos next day i had to be alone at harbourfront big megastore and some more boss say treat me if i sell one... mm had some good chat with justin...
sat -
was late to meet justin and peifen... stepped on dog poo that day... argh... smelly... but haha like they always says it brings good luck to step on dog poo, sold 2 aerostep set that day... haha broke record la... cos boss say there 6weeks sold 5sets... haha...
sun -
boring day at parkway parade... bad position and some more really bad service staff... so what if u have more experience in the service line, i guess my service attitude is much better than u are and dont u criticise me on how i do my sales when u're not even the one who hires me... man wonder how did he manage to get into that position... service comes from the heart and i think all his service attitude comes only for the sake of getting more sales... no sets that day...
mon -
well 1st day at century square... not bad staff pretty fun to work with...haha the osim guy the cannon boy and the QB aunties... sold 1 full set to a dad/husband and wife/daughter... well i really dunno... the lady looks too young to be his wife and too old to be his daughter... anyway not bad for a weekday
tues -
nth much happens, but beginning to see the trend of customers comin... customers who buy doesnt come in a crowd while in a crowwd u can hardly find any real buying customers... and alot of skilled couples... haha justin would know this... last min 7.20 just 40mins away from knocking off a married couple gets a full set... 1set again...
wed -
day started out with a malay guy bringing his mom to shop... then he told me he was 30 but his action and the way he persuaded his mom to buy the set was like a child... haha... anyway thought that i'd be able to sell more but yupz 1full set for the day again...
thurs -
off day... went to meet connie, bei en justin and peifen at compass point to have our lunch... after that me and bei went shopping for stationaries and the rest went with connie for her 'interview' after that all meet up at my house play mahjong and had a good dinner...
fri -
nothing much, boss treat lunch... tried very hard but only a aerostep set sales... not really good...
sat -
went to funan it mall with alvin-justin's friend- for our sales... not bad for the day cos we sold 2sets... initially all commission goes to alvin cos he's the one who served the customers while i do the demo... but at the end of the day boss called and told us that he added another boxing set into our sales so we hav extra commission to split up to around the commission of 2 full sets... hopeful for the next day cos i'll be the only 1 there...
sun -
bad bad bad... sales was horrible... i think the day before we're just luck to bump into the 2 who have the initial attention to buy... mm went for my lunch and walked around for my headphones... there is a shope that offered me the zen in-ear headphones at 140... mm dunno how much cheaper or more expensive... but kiv it... well thank god for me to bump into an indian family who's searching for a fitness game that can dance and so yupz managed to sold yet another 1 full set...
mon - today/yesterday
mm normal day... last day of work... no more cannot tahan le... since sat i've already had my sore throat and my body craves for a break... haha the QB aunties gave me a namecard for me to go find a job... haha and i saw quan yifeng and dasmond koh and some other i dunno whos... mm was doing my demo when i heard someone said thats jacky chan... insticntively i turned back and i saw them... 1st reaction was stunned then look for camera... no camera, good... then i continue introducing my products and stuff like they're just normal people... mm pretty cool... seems like quan yifeng was look for a LCD tv... okay i'm dancing in front of a 46' HD tv... haha... then later even more interesting a female muay thai boxing coach tried the boxing game and said it doesnt have the kick of real boxing then i asked her for a namecard... mm today also one sales by a lady who's wearing a super low cut dress and it like so hard not to accidentally look at the wrong stuff... madness... whats with the dresswear at a neighbour shopping mall century square... yupz so 1full set again...

tomorrow rest day... go out enjoy... now that i'm around 500bucks richer here's my new shoppin list and as bei have said i always set the list but never buy... haha...

cologne
belt
headphone
shirt
watch - very tough
sneakers
computer*
handphone*
*long term shopping list...

done... nitez...

candles

2007-01-08T00:46:00.000+08:00

well a normal start to the year with the bei's overnite mahjong, kbox then dinner with connie's mom's birthday...

well things changed
things always does...
and i'm always the one who changes with the change...
recently chatted about me being a gemini...
hey i'm pretty much proud to be a gemini
even for those shortcomings...
i'm pretty adaptable due to the fact i change very fast...
every situation it doesnt take long for me to get use to...
versatility??
nay i just go with the flow...

things seems much better now...
the feeling of having not much feeling is great
acceptance of how one truely feels is the solution to the problems of the heart
denial is the thorn that one places upon one's heart
due to the fact that one could not accept facts
and thus once the thorn is removed,
freedom of choice and feeling is restored...

today the strong wind that blew away my last candle made me freezing cold...
but at the same time it let me realise that in a corner of my room
away from the wind, there is a new candle that is actually lit
the flame was too small to be notice
too uncertain to be considered as a flame...
but only when i'm that cold that i realised its existance...
i wondered its existence...
of the flame, for it is certain that the candle has always been there...
well all i can say is that there arent any more circumstances
for me to see if the flame ever grew brighter, stronger...
no circumstances to be certain...
i'll try not to be hopeful...
all i know is that its just tiny flame...
i'll wait and see...
although most probably...
it'll die out soon...

new year's resolution

2006-12-31T23:29:00.000+08:00

hey peeps
the year's ending and the new 1 is beginning
how have you been this year
its been a rough year for me and there are tons of obstacles that i've passed
well... i've learnt alot, changed alot
started the year busy with ogl and byg
well it seems to be a journey of confidence
gained alot of confidence during my ogl week
lost alot during byg
mm figure out that the more serious the consequences are of my actions
the less confidence i have

studied hard for my block test and thats when i got closer with the ny clique...
then the worst of the worst happened
in a flashed i lost my brother
i lost my sincere laughter
i lost more freedom
i lost more tears
i lost the very soul i wanna nuture up
i lost the friend whom i never grew close to
i lost the companion at home
i lost... half of me...

everything was rough...
things helped back home with the world cup
as men... me and my dad grew close
then it was the mids and the prelims...
tried hard to study tried hard to stay focus...
seems so hard

A's come and go... screwed up from the 1st day till the last...
finally everything ended with me being fatigue...
fatigue of everything...
well... woke up... slept... and hope things go smooth...
and know what??
i'm still searching for my laughter
i'm still hoping to smile from my heart
to find the cheerful jieyan back...

hopefully...

next year??

hope so...
really hope...

my New Year Resolutions:
i wanna be more confident
more outspoken... more friendly
i hope to be happy
wanna be less bothered so easily by people around me
i wanna mature up
in the way i dress and my thinking
maybe i'll read more
i'll find more shirts?? haha
i wanna think more about my future...
or should i say more sure of what i want and who i wanna be in the future...
find a decent job to last me for the 3months
then work up physically for my army...
finish the 1st year of army in a fine state...

i dont wanna think too much
i dont wanna be emo so easily
i dont want anything bad to happened to my family...
i dont wanna be so controlled by others

well then happy new year everyone...

new new new

2006-12-26T01:45:00.000+08:00

yupz

haha yes another long post to wrap everything up

thurs- 21dec
went out with karen... haha finally after so long for the both of us to meet... haha and some more that day was the last day of my black hair... woke up in the morning and realise i dont hav my wax... then since i'm meeting her at 3.30, i went down to compassvale to walk walk and got my wax... haha had a very very good style that day... mm went around walking in the already-so-boring orchard road... no christmas mood... haha... took neoprints... mm very nice ones... shall upload it on my next post... had ajisen too... nice chatting and the day ends with me so luckily saw this book for my mortal that has alot of cartoons for most situations like congrats,family,love, friends etc... then for every picture comes with a quote or a line that hold its meaning... haha very sweet de... was thinking that connie mj pf all see liao will oso wan... haha too bad only for my mortal... hope she likes it...

fri- 22dec
argh dye hair day... excited?? no... super nervous... haiz i'm always so nervous whenever i cut hair by a new hairstylist, new hair cut or now esp my 1st dye... the feeling sux... cos i'm really afraid of screwing up my hair... already low self confidence... cannot have a bad hair colour... mm went down to singpost around 10.30-11... mm spent alot of time thinking what to dye la... mm in the end the hairstylist help me chose the colour and give me a little free highlight on the fringe.... mmm then end product?? haha very satisfying... although still afraid people will say i beng la... but personally its very dark... even for the highlight... haha peifen and xinying were the 1st to see it and they say not bad... haha then followed by xinyu... mm walked around xinyu in the afternoon... haha her mood was bad la after the short amounts of sleep... mm in the end help her find what to buy for her mortal... haha and got the autographed zhen yuan chang's pic... bad lamination by the sales lady la... wasted...

sat- 23dec
meet out with felicia and weiting for lunch... i ate at home le then had to see them eat AJISEN... argh so hard to endure not eating a bowl la... weiting say she dun like my highlight... sad... haha then meet up with kokjing while we went down to be mr delivery man for stuff to peifen... mm so finally felicia and weiting meets peifen and peifen finally meets felicia and weiting... mm me and feli left for our class steamboat at marina... karen they all see my hair le say beng... heartbreak!! eat le then go orchard then go home... mm nth much...

sun- 24th dec christmas eve
mm meet xinyu to finish buying her mortal's stuff... mm met her at orchard mrt and ate at lunch... we went down to sommerset there to get her hat... then walked back to taka to sit down and chat but met this lady to promote her savings stuff... then went wisma for starbucks... haha it started raining so we asked peifen to come over and find us had coffee standing up cos there wasnt any space for us... mm went down to the 1st floor and we took photos!! haha peifen was so in the christmas mood that she brought her camera... mm walked around until the rain stops then me and xinyu went far east so as to not make xinyu's day an unfruitful 1 beisdes buying her mortal's prex... mm went there and she bought hairclips then we went to take neoprints!!
woot!! my 1st neoprint with the new hairstyle... haha very nice neoprint oso... haha then xinyu rushed to bugis to find her friend while i went back to find peifen... haha she sugested to stay for countdown... so ok lor stay lor den meet xinyu den pf dont feel like staying le but in the end we stayed and went down orchard road for the countdown... mm not very good stuff happened but in the end we had our small share of fun during the countdown and also while avoiding the battles and skidding our way out... mm then went home... suprise suprise no christmas mood...

mon- 26th dec christmas
mm since i slept 5.30-6am in the morning i woke up at 12.30pm realising that im gonna be late... rushed to bath and didnt really styled my hair but on my way out i was like thinking mm mayb i should try wearing my jacket for my white shirt... haha mm endure the heat lor... since not really gonna walk orchard most prob... haha so wear until very smart today la... still thinking about me perspiring too much but haha juz try to kep myself cool... mm met the rest and the 1st thing bei tian mj say was -beng- wah i was like a bit upset la... haha cos thats what i dont want my hair to be, although i know regardless what colour i dye , i'll still look beng... either alot or a little... haha went to reserve billy bombers then had our lunch at the food court, meet up with the rest then went to catch -a night at the museum-... funny show... not much content but worth the laugh... mm anyway we went to have our dinner then the gift exchange!!! haha so exciting... mm here's the link -connie-bei-yiwen-tian-beng-xinyu-mj-connie- and -peifen-me-xiying-justin-peifen... mm guessed my angel like yesterday le la... haha recieved a bodyshop cologne, toblerone, pictures, an envolope of dried petals small notes and letter... haha yupz all these stuff are her ideas for gifts for other people just that she use it on ME for dry run... lol... mm dinner le most left le then left me bei pf and connie... sat down at mac for a short chat before leaving too... haha took some pics on our way back...

tomorrow's boxing day although there isnt any gift for me to open this year, i still love this day more than christmas eve and christmas... haha mm maybe mahjong tomorrow... haha dunno... if not then i'll juz be slacking around at home then...

haiz time shoots like rockets... so fast everything has passed... and the new year's comin, the chi new year then getting our results then ns...
haiz its all gonna come so soon..

mm been speaking about confidence quite these few days...
haiz my new year resolution for dunno how many years le...
i wanna be more confident...
i know it does take some time... but i've been like trying for so long
and i dont seem to be improving...
i'm still of such low confidence... so much so that it scares me...
it stops me from doing what i can
and it makes me feel so weak and so hurt
that i'm so sick of it...
i wanna be confident
i wanna feel good...
but now i figured that i'm still so far away from what i want to achieve
even from changin so much from my sec sch...
i'm still so afriad of doing the wrong stuff and disappointing people...

haiz hope next year will be better...
haha next year's comin in less then a week's time...
well lets hope everything is so much better next year
so much better...

back

2006-12-21T05:11:00.000+08:00

yoyoyo peeps

haha long since i blogged
mm back from genting and super high!!!
haha i cheong like how many days le...
mm o.O let me see
last last weekend
haha work ot for sat den left early for sun then its genting!!
mm met them at nite at golden mile
kinda regret chosing grassland for the rest
cos my family and i are pretty much used to the bus so haha pretty comfy for us
but for the rest the seats are not really that good
anyway didnt slept much and when we're there we were all tired out for fun
1st day ruined
haha 2nd day we had our indoor stuff
3rd was outdoor but tragically it was raining but i tried most coasters except my fav space shot
haha the rest almost all didnt dare to try la
4th day was the tragic day cos 3rd day nite think we ate the wrong stuff for dinner
haha that nite i'm already dizzy but i'm still pooling and bowling... but bowling was good cos i keep getting very good shots although my stomach is in pain... finish the game and i was trying to get back to the hotel asap but cannot tahan rushed to the toilet outside bowl... came out half dead but i didnt last long before i started to vomit into the trach bins... wow... all kang kong... lolx... i was still very high that nite... haha was still smiling even after like 5 times of diarrheoa... tried to sleep although my head is spinning when i close my eyes... woke up 3am vomitting... i seem to have started a chain reaction cos 3others woke up either feeling very uncomfortable or vomitted... haha so in the end the 5of us who were down went to see the doc at genting... took a jab and loads of pills... vomitted my pills the 1st time...

mm went back to s'pore with a bad stomach and haha a very fun experience even with the food poisoning...
cos mm u truely see ur friends caring for u, tuggin u into bed, checking ur temperature, taking care of u when u're really weak... its very touching and warm to the heart... haha u know ur frenz care about u all the time but when the actions truely takes place... it is really very touching... haha... thanx peeps... luv ya guys...

mm came back le slept 1 whole day after that next 2days work with a bunch of asshole and idiots... bryan and co. was a very good bunch of uncles to work with... haha they're understanding and they know when to work and when to slack... and their attitude are welll acceptable... haha but the new bunch of people are super slackers with bad attitude and not really friendly... treat us like we're their slaves... mm nvm thank god only 1 weekend... but ya wasted only made ard 70+ for that weekend... if bryan were there i wouldnve earned 150... haiz...

after that went out in the morning on monday toget stuff for amanda's party
my 1st costume party neh!!
haha muz dress up as goth... mm dark nails dark lining
haha went far east to shop for wings and my choker haha got our stuff but not really cheap though...
mm got a lingerie for her at far east and went down to the house of condoms to get other stuffs
haha went past i.p. zone and justin saw this jacket that seems to be suitable for me... mm wasnt expensive ard 35... mm but it did look good on me... haha =) then it was suitable for the party since its a black jacket and i just need to put it on with the spike choker and done... haha went to the cashier and when i paid the cashier i found out that it was 40% off... so only ard 27.30 haha super cheap and it was the last jacket of the size... haha lucky me... now i can clear a shirt/sweater since it can be use as a sweater/jacket... anyway we went down to the house of condoms to get six condoms for the 1st six days of the week and a plaster for george (amanda's bf) for sunday to rest... haha... the party in the nite was fun although i hard a bad hairstyle haha and was barred from drinking... cool photos taken too...

mm went back peifen's house to take our stuff but ended up tonning... mm left me with pf connie bei en and ming jue... yupz all girls except me... chatted and all of us snuggle up in her room... wasnt sleeping almost the whole nite cos of the alarm clock's ticking... cant stand...

next day morning(tues) back home to change and meet feli... mm watched eragon... typical storyline... mm average movie... haha ate pizza again... haha everytime we meet up we eat pizza... lolx...

wed went praying in the afternoon and asked bei justin and peifen over to my house for dinner and mahjong... haha nice game... cos the game involved money!!! welll very little 5cents 10cents only... haha but still it was fun... lost 2.50 though... haha... and now its 5am and i'm still bloggin... haha tml meeting karen... mm haha neoprints!!! although i seriously tink my hair is super ugly...

haha this week super busy... mm fri i'm gonna have my hair cutted and dyed... cool... but dunno if its gonna look good... sat steamboat... well details are still in the process... sun yv christmas but not sure if its still on... mon haha ny clique christmas outing... watching nite at the museum and angel mortal gift exchange...
haha so packed...

mm been pretty high for so long... mm o.O???

通常越高的雪山，雪崩时破坏能力越大

打一支针时，会觉得是好玩
第二是刺激。
但针打多了，
或打对地方时，
是会痛的。
而且痛得很深。
但谁会知道呢？
只有那心甘情愿被打得人，
他自己最清楚。

shopping misadventure

2006-12-03T01:33:00.000+08:00

yes as expected
a fruitless day
and a stomach full of anger...

okay the day started out superb,
woke up at 8 and saw diane's msg...
haha suprised suprised busy girl's free and ask me out!!! haha
met her on the bus around 10.30
haha figured out we're wearing 情侣装
cos i wore a plain white shirt with jeans and she wore a white shirt with some patterns from pure milk haha and jean shorts... haha lao gong lao po...
went down to orchard cos she wanna get jeans and shop...
haha went over to peifen there and ya she looked super dead and super ill...
haiz wrong timing for a job
anyway left for fish & co at wheelock and met this very pleasant and pretty waitress
and this funny counter girl
haha i told the waitress 'a seat for two' and added 'can i have a window seat?'
then the counter girl answered with a 'of cos u can seat anywhere' cos we're the only customers there...
so the pretty waitress served us an both of us thought for a while on what to eat...
she came over and ask if she could helped with the menu and i was like ' its okay we'll managed'
haha then when we ordered the salmon dishes then she told us that they've no stock on salmons haha no wonder she was like insisting on helpin us with the menu...
mm both of us chatted for a while and yupz enjoyed the brunch with a grilled seasonal fish... not really bad... mm but kinda not my taste... anyway when we left the place the counter girl said ' bye! 1st customer of the day!' lolx

mm walked around and chatted quite a bit haha mm continue our shoppin trip tommorow at vivo... mm diane's so hard to meet up la...

anyway left for queenstown (justin wee beng joel meng jiat peifen)... haha almost all were late... but haha i dont mind we've got time... time's what we have... plenty... except for joel... lolx army soon...
mm went walking around for my stuff but couldnt find any... mm hard to please and some more i look for the 'feel'... but anyway saw this v-necked shirt... nice design but the shop owner run out of sizes... mm... so left for other shops... peifen joined us soon... mm then the shittiest mood changing event happened... fuck...

went to this shop named sub and joel and justin were like opposite buying pants... i'm drifting between sub and the shop opposite looking for jeans... mj pf and wb went to the other shop beside the shop opp sub... k nth happened... then the girls and wb came over to discuss whether or not to cut more prices... mm then i'm listening while looking around for jeans... thats when the son of a bitch bastard asshole owner came over to find trouble... came over and whack the racks of jeans just pushing them as hard as possible while pretending to check the jeans.... fuck man my hands were just seconds away from getting slammed in betweens those racks... fuck the bastard okay fine nevermind give him face then i walk away... still he went over to scold wee beng for leaning too close to his jeans when they'll all just discussing with the gals and there is not even a customer in his bloody shop... fuck the idiot la... as if anyone would be obstructed by us and are interested in those fucking ugly peice of shit u called them jeans... sucky attitude and trust me i swear never to step into the shithole shop... people please do me a favour and boycott this bloody shop named SUB!!! yes SUB 2nd floor of queensway shopping centre... tell your frenz too... dont let bad services persists like those provided by this fucker...

spoil my mood for the whole day completely... fuck... its like i've got a high threshold of people's attitude and yet this guy simply get on my nerves... its like i'm still angry now la especially i can do nothing about it... fuck fuck fuck... like i said i can bbq anything on my chest right now... argh!!!

ok nevermind... help me by boycotting this shop... and if anyone help me by insulting the owner or in some way get revenge... get a drink from me... my treat...

phew... ok drop the subject... mm found a pair of jeans in a shop... wasnt thinking straight anymore... the rage is building and building inside me... haiz... mm its justin who pointed out the jeans and i was like mm not bad ok try okay take... mm after that almost all left for home and me and justin went to ps with joel who's meeting his frenz... mm me and jus went to a bookstore and i found myself 2 diablo books... pretty good books to start my reading hobby again... haha been years since i touch any novels... mm must read more.... then left ps for taka and went to their kino to see more books... was shown by justin some really good books... mm not really my cup of tea but will be considering once i settle down on a decent job... left taka for lucky plaza to play pool... mm finally i feel better and yupz was really a good game with justin... minimal tico... went back taka for a small shop and left for home...

back home... bad mood again... got a mouthful from mom... cos i spent too much time outside and stuffs... haiz...

well sometimes i really feel that i'm borned not to stay at home... but i cant... tied down...

tired and sleepy...

dont wanna fall asleep again...

sometimes u managed to wake up...
but the environment remains...
u're still in the environment that caused u to fall asleep in the 1st place...
so how do u stay awake??
i think i'm just clinging on to the fact that "hey since i'm awake i shouldnt fall back to sleep"
i'm trying know...
trying...

sianz ar!!!

2006-12-01T23:21:00.000+08:00

haha the weekends comin... time simply flies, zooms shoots past...
mm its been a while since i really use my mind for something educational isnt it??
its been such a while

mon was simply girls shopping!!! i wasnt bored at all la... when was i ever bored with shopping?? haha just that i really wasnt much of a help in earrings... so sorry... mm anyway the day ended on a moody note... mm helpless me again... dont know what to do to help... haiz...

tues was complete bore!!! mm stuck at home... was simply thinking of staying in the morning to appease my mom and dad... and i got stuck for the whole day... couldnt even go out for the class outing... kinda sad that i drifted off from my class, not that i was very close with them before but... mm yupz never had a chance to truely know them...

wed was a super unlucky day for me... couldnt really enjoy the badminton cos i had scrapped my finger in less than 1hr of the game then couldnt hold the racket properly... sux... then go justin house just to eat dumplings from pf then need to go all the way to lavender... passport extension... haha mom saw my official signature... haha she say very nice haha... mm went home to know that the rest went vivo... argh i presumed they'll be at justin's house all the way... so yupz bored at home... couldnt touch gundam cos the peeled skin is a bit wet den my art knife is rubbing it... sux

thurs wasnt any better... helped the j1s back school... mm pretty redundant that we're there la... couldnt do much... went home straight... bored...

fri--- today
presumably nothing to do... the night before i was complaining that i'm so bored stucked at home for the past few days... then asked some of my class people out for pool... haha actually only got ian and liyin... pool then shopping for ian's prom shirt... mm then in the morning just before i left house wei ting called to meet me at 5 at vivo cos she getting a watch then i was lyk SURE!!! haha so long never see her le... she super busy la... ok then on the mrt to dhoby pf msged saying that she's working at wheelock place then say can go visit her... ok since i'm free why not?? ok so i'm suppose to wheelock before i meet wei ting... okok... reached ps 1.30 met liyin... then waited for ian for 1hr... imagine a guy late for 1hr... haha ok its not really his fault but anyway we played pool then i left at 4.15 sorry guys... very short meeting... promise i'll stay throughout the day k?? bought mineral water went wheelock's place at 5... mm pf's voice is like so long gone... but she needs to giv out flyer and answer visitors qns... wow... wonder how she last tml... mm anyway met wei ting at around 6... mm walked around bought her fossil watch... mm make me wanna buy a watch too... couldnt find something that suits me after so so so long without wearing a watch... cos very very few watches suits my wirst... hard to explain... anyway mm walked around and had dinner out at the habour front coffee shop near the bus terminal to sentosa... then chatted and went home around 9/10...

mm been thinking alot of stuff lately
little more than i usually does...
mm dont know how to share it though...
mm waiting for a chance to just pour it out...
mm chances?? haha... okay i'm bored...
there's a difference between relaxing with nothing to do
and completely bored out with nothing to do...
i'm the latter...

cant stand having nothing to do...
but when u wanna go out... u gotta be prepared to spend money
i need a more decent work!!!
2 advantages...
1- i can have more capacity to go out
2- i'll be too occupied that i dont have time to go out spend money!!!

awakening

2006-11-26T01:09:00.000+08:00

wahaha
yes finally the long asleep jie yan is finally awake...
haha yupz... slept too long le... still drowsy but haha at least i'm awake...
waste too much time sleeping le...
finally someone managed to give me a real good wake up call
and thus sleepyhead jie yan is wide awake now!!!

dont get it??
haha its alright

haha i'm high now!!!
haha maybe i'm too dead just now...
elaborate later

ok... i shall start from the day the exams ended -fri-
haha had a real hearty meal at lai lao shi's wonderful and big house(tian cheryl peifen jieyi*ny)...
mm lots of collections and really good dinner reemphasise
felt so fortunate having such a dinner right after all of your exams...
its like a celebration of so much hard work...
haha

yupz some of the pictures taken that day... haha there's the japanese collection that includes the cups, the nanyang bears, the bread, soup and salad for the dinner...
haha there are 2 more dishes but i was busy enjoying them so yupz no pictures... but trust me they look gorgeous... yum yum!!

-sat-
yupz then next day went shopping at far east (karen jieyi*tp justin peifen xinyu connie) and yupz haha met toh toh there cos she dying her hair... haha mm not bad ... but haha i still tink black suits her better... haha mm when is our next meeting?? wahaha... mm after dat went to buy a gundam... haha... until now haven really finish but anyway dont intend to finish it that fast... hey the fun is in the building process!!

-sun-
bbq the next day... (yiwen wee beng peifen justin xinyu connie xi ying meng jiat)
mm not really fruitful event but it was fun setting up the fire and stuffs... mm but haha bad day altogether... blame it on luck then... haha but nevermind... haha bei house!!!

-mon-
mm we went shopping!!! (shi jia peifen xuan sheng justin)
bugis-- haha miss that place although there is nothing more there for me to see... haha... mm was intending to get a digital table clock there but haha too bad need time to get the stock and i forgot to go back...went marina next and i saw this very nice topman shirt... mm... but too bad gotta train up quite a bit to really bring out that shirt... especially when xs's around... haha didnt get anything until left me and justin and i got myself 2shirts at bugis street and bugis... haha did i mention the 1 of the shirt shrank?? another tragic case

-tue-
(shi jia peifen beien) well got myself an interview to a recruitment agency and yupz quite a few lobang after that... but only got myself a job recently... haha elaborate later... mm chit chatted at tcc... done

-wed-
haha watched gong at yiwen's house (yiwen peifen connie wee beng)... mm really sorry to yiwen cos i didnt read clearly the message an mistaken that she was sick of staying at home alone instead of sick at home... blunder blunder... haha mainly what i do there is sleep, ransacked her house of chips and noodles... haha...

-thurs-
clubbing (justin beien peifen xuan de xuan sheng theresa)
was slacking and being bored the whole morning!!! really bored out la... haha was intending to go choa chu kang to play badminton in the morning but how the hell am i suppose to wake up so early!!! haha but the night was fun!!! haha well 1st time clubbing... wasnt a bad experience with a good club... too bad wrong group of people went in and kinda spoil the mood by a little... haha i was trying to reach the peak of my "high-ness" although couldnt but i did had a great time... haha woke up next morning and the 1st thing in my head was -- man do i look like an idiot last night!! haha mm waiting for the pics to arrive... when it does i'll write more then...

-fri- (tian peifen)
mm yupz the job i'm having now... the interview on this day... really sad la... 3 of us went but only 2 got in... really unfair la... cos the lady just use her memory to remember the names and faces... then peifen didnt got in... haiz... and she wasnt the 1 who intro us in... haiz haiz... mm the night was shitty... haha the dance performance was a waste of my time... not that it was bad but i was never able to comprehend dance... haha...

-sat-
yupz today
my 1st day at work... i'll be working at raffles city every weekend except next weekend until 17th dec... so 3weekends in total... mm simply ushering for uob credit card roadshow... mm haha i know they keep saying that i sheng1 zai4 fu2 zhong1 bu4 zhi1 fu2... haha cos i'm complaining that it is too easy money... mm cos only ushering... thats why when i met the rest just now i was bloody sianz!! mm that makes me wanna do more tommorow... haha and i'm still not asleep now... mm... o.O?? haha i'm so gonna be dead tommorow... wahaha... nvm nvm nvm... nite nitez people!!

yawnz!!!

haha sleepyhead jie yan really going to sleep le...
wahaha...

tired

2006-11-18T23:04:00.000+08:00

A's over...

i was melancholic when i came into jc
melancholic after 1st 3 months
melancholic during my year ones
melancholic after promos
melancholic for the end of the year
melancholic when the year 2 started
melancholic during 白云岗
melancholic after that
not that melancholic in between
but now

i'm still melancholic.
after 2years nothing much has changed

想做的事情
做不到
不能做
不想做
累了
真得很累
累了
就决定不去做了
很空
真得很空

心很空，天很大，云很重。
我恨孤单，却赶不走。

18号了
皆彦还没醒
沉睡当中。。。

house

2006-11-08T21:29:00.000+08:00

思念

今天我回到了旧家
闻到了熟悉的味道
花店里的花香，
巴刹里的鱼腥味，香料的味道
垃圾堆的味道，
工人的臭汗味，
混成一种独特的味道。
臭吗？
不，很奇怪的
我怀念这味道。

半年了
三月多才回去一次
只不过区区七个月，
旧家变得很多
店面不见了
摊位换了

搬家是对的吗？
不搬的话，至少能保留多一点的回忆。

我们回去阿伯的熟食摊位
坐下时，只见阿伯的儿子和老婆忙着
见不着阿伯
脚又不舒服吗？
生病在家？
为什么没来？

点了菜，饭来时，
爸便问起阿伯
只见端饭来的员工曲着食指
他已走了

搬家是对的吗？
如果不搬的话就能见到阿伯最后一面了。

一样的汤，
一样的菜，
一样的味道，
不一样的感觉。
吃饱了
以前满满的一碗汤
最后一滴都不剩。
但今天汤还剩一半。
我含着泪水，
喝了最后一口，
就走了。

搬家是对的吗？
如果不搬的话。。。

但是他好喜欢新家。

事情的结果
永远取决于某一个决定。

但那决定是对的，
还是错的。

该后悔吗？有用吗？

sticky sicky

2006-11-04T23:37:00.000+08:00

well guess i dont have such a powerful immune system after all...
maybe i've teased the others too much whenever they had block nose
and now its finally my turn
i'm down!!!
with cough flu and sorethroat
but
but but
thank god no stomach flu
cos i know i'll be in the hospital if i had one...

screw up gp
i shouldnt have done that question
shouldnt have been confident
and imagine i walked out of the examination feeling great
only to find out that for essay my scope was too narrow
not enought evidence as well
for compre my summary was crap and my aq i had only stated my views and ideas, agree or disagree, didnt point out any significant examples...
screwed

felt pretty much helpless that day when i called the lep and cla frenz...
seems that they're very upset over the paper and i cant do anytink
let them nag and complain also cannot cos my phone was faulty on the first call...
haiz
mm dunno what to say but just to move on and work harder for the rest of the paper

now i'm thinking what will happen if i did screw up my gp and i'm gonna retake my A's just because of that...
i wouldnt be able to get into a uni cos my gp is poor, cos i know i wont score that well for the rest of the papers...
retake retake lor...

doing last minute work for the few chapters i had omitted during my revision...
argh really hope i have enough time...

haha u must be wondering - then why u still have time to blog?? -
haha i dunno, just feel like blogging... mm kk i go now... sleeping soon... nitez people...

2006-10-31T23:41:00.000+08:00

i dont know who's controlling this piece of flesh and bones because i'm very sure its not jie yan.. the real jie yan is in a deep deep coma now... not wanting to wake up...

i'm really not sure of who i am these few days... mayb weeks... its just not me... i'm doing things i dont normally do and i'm thinking of things i wont normally think of...its scaring me... i'm more agressive and hostile... more anti-social and insensitive... i'm moody and i'm really not even smiling truthfully... i'm just drifting, hiding, walking for the sake of walking the roads that i have chosen... or worse forced to... im not thinking welll, sleeping well, studying well... the motivation is gone, the concentration is missing, the confidence is depleting, replaced by a feeling of being dragging all around... i'm sick, i'm tired... not of studying...
but of what i'm doing,
how i'm reacting to others,
how i'm treating others,
how i'm treated,
how i'm feeling about others,
how i feel about their thoughts about me,
how they react to what i do,
how i react to what they do,
how everything and everyone seems wrong,
how I seem wrong,
all the little thing thats popping up in my head...
all the big things that has aways been in my head
i'm lost... lost in on the journey to wake the inner me that has since lost conscious...
its not about the others, its about me, and only me... i'm weird...

todays i wasnt myself again... i'm losing it...
i dunno what i'm thinking, i'm unsure of everything...
am i just plain moody... or am i thinking of alot of stuffs...
i dunno
i heard some stuff
i wrote some stuff i never should have wrote
never should have even thought of
i hate what i wrote... but deep down i know i want that thing to happen...
but it never will, i wont allow either...

went to watch An Inconvenient Truth in the evening...
how was i able to watch the movie??
when all the facts were verbal and i've got a bad memory
and when before less than a quater of the show was shown i was already in tears
trying very hard not to break down
and all i remembered was-
my six year old son was in coma and a machine was controlling its breathing......
stayed in the hospital with him for a month......
he finally took a breath.......
he was a strong boy...

the rest was the movie was facts. facts that were going into my head too slowly and too minute to be even recalled... anyway i wasnt listening... was trying to hold my tears... i wasnt suppose to cry in a documentary, i wasnt suppose to cry anyway...

there are too many stuff in my head... but i'll never stop thinking about him...
there is nothing that will make me stop...
i dunno why but its like i'm trying to love something so hard only when i've lost it and it hurts so hard... yes there are tons of regrets... tons of 'why didnt i' s... no one can convince me to stop thinking... no one... so dont try... i'm sorry

i'm not angry with anyone... i'm frustrated with myself...
i'm sick of thinking of so many stuff that makes me more depressed

i'm tired of talking, tired of sharing, tired of saying...
i want to listen, i dont wanna talk anymore...
maybe i'm also tired of trying to listen, trying to know stuff
maybe i'm tired of not knowing...
mayb i'm just tired, maybe i just wanna keep quiet...
stop asking... and just be quiet...
i know the real me would never want to be in the state being quiet,
but anyway i'm not me now...
i'm tired...
hope the real me will wake up anytime after 17th nov
hope...
if not... then he never will i guess...

bye then good luck people

bored, blundered blurred

2006-10-23T21:47:00.000+08:00

haiz
everyone's moody, upset, frustrated, irritated over one thing or another, me inclusive... i've become more easily frustrated, being too insensitive at times and oversensitive at another... i know something's wrong with me... really moody... its either there are stuffs that are troubling me or i'm coming up with ridiculous ideas and thoughts that's simply irritating, especially at this crucial moment... this really sux... could it be stress?? too much fast food?? or some weird reasons that has yet to be discovered and yet it spreads like the recent stomach flu... hope it ends... hopefully it ends with the A's...

speacking of A's, its only around a week away... kinda want it to come quickly and end quickly... so many things all planned out for the end or A's... but still, there is a need to score well. stress is inevitable, yet like 2 years back i'm not feeling the stress i should have... although regardless stress or not, my major exams will score worse than my prelims, shown in both PSLE and O's... and this time my prelims results were horrible...

ups and downs these few days...
tired of stuffs...mm shant elaborate...

been death note -ing- these few days... pretty happy that i've coverted some of my friends to death noters... made me feel happier being able to share some of my likings to others... a little disappointed with death note the movie - think most fans would agree... mainly Kira...
haha i've watching tons and tons of Battle Royale and when i saw the actor for Kira all i can say was he's familiar... OMG he's the lead for Battle Royale!!! happy for chosing the actor because he's the lead of my favourite movie?? NO... i'm upset... haha cause he cant act!!! he's an innocent boy boy who's helpless in the cruel world of the adults in BR1, okay quite fit the mark for this charactor... didnt do well in BR2 cause he had to act as a leader who's strong, sharpened and matured over the experiences but still he's so boy boy in his acting... then now its death note... mm Kira is a winner... a strong willed student who is capable and has a backbone even before he had found the death note... Kira before he found the death note is a person who has a dream and workes hard for it and finding the notebook was simply the avenue for him to ampilfy his dreams... but in the movie Kira is an imature childish, timid, weak boy boy who gets powers after finding the notebook and bully his bullies... thats completely not Kira... nonono.... kira is a winner; a leader... not a loser-turn-winner... L's cute... same old L in the comic... haha love L... haha most prob they're gonna make L live and Kira dies... which is pretty good an idea because since L loses to Kira in the comic, why not let Kira loses this time round... mm cant wait for The Last Name to come out... Checkmate...

nong nong 2

2006-09-30T01:45:00.000+08:00

mm continue from previous post... haha long long post this time...

so i went over to ting's house and chatted with her throughout the night... cant believe we're still so close after so long not being in the same class and now not in the same school... its like for DKSYJ in the last 2 years in pgss we're very close and staying close even after O's... but for ting its like we've been not in the same class since sec 2, seldom go out together only once in a while and chatted mainly online or phones... haha really very privilege to know ting... haha mm ate cup noodles around midnight at it was so relaxed and enjoying... just simply chatting and eating supper...wah... what an enjoying break... mm we chat till 4.30am haha kinda late right?? haha mm until auntie came into the room and ask us to go and sleep... haha so mm was too late to go home even though my house was just 2 streets away as i had more than a hundred bucks with me... in case kena robbed by a few workers then i 2 days eat grass lo...

haha morning woke up at 7 and ate breakfast with ting around 10am... haha her mom was nice to bought wanton mee for both of us... haha rushed back home and bathed and went down bugis to study... haha i wasnt concentrating as i was half dead liao... haha falling asleep every now and then and they were like saying that i wasted the day... haha true... went home and bought kfc. ate the two piece chicken meal with chese fries while watching tv... haha slept late...

sunday went national library feeling much more freshen up and was much more productive... mm went home and around 11 my parents were back with alot of tidbits... haha gonna eat all of them while studying...

mon went bugis and tues had to go back for the chem results and goin through answers... mm wasnt very happy with my chem but did improve on my organic since i worked very hard for it... mm wed got back all results and pretty much demoralized by it... haiz shant talked about it anymore... just for a short while i had lost the motivation to move on but ya quickly changed my mindset and move on... had 2 gundams at home and i had spent alot of time outside so i counldnt built them before school opens... spent these 2 days at home instead of going school and clear the gundams at night thats why i didnt update my blog...

mm celebrated beng's b'dae yesterday... haha a perfect grade... omg... i will have to work to get that... haha... anyway not really interested in the older perfect grades... hope the newer ones will attract me... mm went yiwen's house after eating at serangoon gardens de coffeeshop... nice house and the view looks like harry potter's house... is it patrick drive?? haha not sure forgot liao... haha because it looks like rows of similiar houses side by side... haha... watched 5566 taiwan concert the latest one... haha brings back alot of fond memories with karen during 56 events... haha... mm today i stayed at home all morning to sleep and study... haha went to watch lei yu... nice show... haha too bad all the twists are pretty much anticipated as i know of the story... think it was a secondary school textbook... haha a short scene with shi ping and pu yuan... haha... mm worth watching... you'll laugh at all the coincidences and how suay people's lives can get... haha mm very late le nitez/morning guys...

Nong nong ago

2006-09-30T01:44:00.000+08:00

wow its been quite some time since i last posted...
haha start with the post-prelims then...

haha last day of prelims went marina suare/suntec with beng and justin right after the exam... guys day out... went there to see ang mohs in suits and tags... haha feels like you're not in s'pore but some far away country... mm they are really polite and friendly and suddenly i really felt as though we're in their country instead... haha joked about securities and stuffs along the way... went a few shops but didnt buy anything... saw a polo tee at snk... initially before the exams i have got interested in the blue polo, but the yellow one looks more appealing... mm brought money along but felt that the collar was kinda weird... too thick... saw a reversible jacket... very nice... especaily the rugged side... better on me than the formal side... i dont have a single jacket or sweater at home... haha all of you know that i perspire alot... aint cool wearing a cool jacket while wiping my sweat isnt it?? haha thats why justin keeps complaining about me thinking about how thick the clothing is before buying anything..walked around chatted with the toy shop auntie about schooling and education... haha all thanks to justin for entertaining the auntie...we went bowling and short arcade trip before going suntec... saw the blu duel gundam (no spelling error) the last gundam to the set of 3: strike noir, verde buster, blu duel... there's the stargazer gundam itself but isnt out yet... most probably buying... haha will talk abit more about gundam on my next next post... mom paid... haha... beng left after that and justin and i went to foodcourt and have our dinner... chatted about company set up and the term- private limited which i seriously had never thought what it means...day ends

the following day justin and i went queensway in the afternoon to continue the shopping journey... mm bought myself a set of bermudas and polo tee at 49.90... mm sort of cheap la... considering that you have to pay for around 30 each else where... met peifen and connie at wisma... walked around and bought the yellow polo at snk... haha cant resist temptation... mm had dinner chatted and planned the thursday outing which is suppose to be the most fun and everybody's supposed to be there... mm alot of problems came up while planning... mm...

thursday me justin connie peifen went kbox in the morning... i went late and peifen connie had already began singing... haha i'm really hoping that i'll be more confident in taking up the mike... i just dont dare to hold the mike... maybe an excuse but i cant bring myself to take the mike... mm sorry justin... kinda pissed him off with that... mm went justin's house after meeting yiwen...
placed our stuff changed and went to play badminton at the nearby community centre... its been around a year since i last played badminton... wow haha really brought the addiction back... was a good game and felt energetic after the game... xinyu was a good player to train my direction and long shots... haha nice nice... went justin house to eat steamboat and he left early from the game to prepare... mm thanx thanx... was shocked that the ingredients cost more than 90bucks... mm a really tasty meal and i was pretty hungry after the game... clear quite alot of food with the thai sauce and the tom yum paste... yum yum...
stayed over at his house with peifen... bathed chatted played PS2 and slept with justin on two seperated bed *emphasized woke up almost afternoon and ate noodles cooked by justin and peifen... sweet right?? haha cannot say anymore later i kena by them... but haha i was playing the PS2 so i didnt see much... haha... or else mm......... haha BANKAI!!!
mm anyway went bugis after that and meet up with connie to get ming jue's prex...but i went off early... followed parents to compass to sign up the genting trip... it was friday and they were booking a trip on saturday... very early hor?? haha... so excited that i'll be left alone in the house for 2 nights... haha... a child deprived of freedom...

saturday was kinda interesting... a relaxed morning eating mac breakfast with friends... haha initially was thinking of playing badminton but couldnt find an indoor venue... afternoon went to the s'pore buddhist lodge to get the bursery cert... then went home eat dinner bath and go peifen's house... was intending to chill out and chit chat there since connie was there and wee beng initially also... mm but left early, was thinking of going home to recieve my mom's call from genting... haha... but messaged wei ting to go out chit chat and she suggested going her house... so go lor haha since auntie say she very long never see me le......
*(to be continue)

2006-09-14T01:20:00.000+08:00

hello
yupz i know its the prelims... but cant help but to blog... haha
mm well screwed up for the past few papers...
Maths was horrible due to the normal hot and stuffy classroom, with a rocky table... what sux the most is when it started raining - and here i was thinking that 'thank god its gonna rain!' - and the wind keep blowing the drape that was pulled to shield us from the morning heat and when it land repeatedly with a noise... very irritating... keep breaking my chain of thoughts... then in the end i had 15marks of questions that is incomplete... i was hopeful for my A... haiz
Chem was even worse... i had 3questions blank... bad stomach and keep going to the toilet... argh!!!
Physics wasnt that bad... i knew it was gonna screw up but ya it didnt screw that much... border pass i would say...

mm these few weeks i've been mugging... and something hit me... i finally felt at peace with myself... i wasnt thinking that much of everything, i wasnt lost anymore- only a tiny bit... i am much more positive now... mm and most importantly, i've begin to learn to dream... i guess having something to fight for or work towards is such a wonderful thing... it really pushes you forward and provides you the drive... i'm even beginning to not dislike studying although i still look forward to the end of the A's but at least i wasnt dreading the time spent on preparing for the exams...

Points To Ponder
Which is more important: the journey or the end?

Is the journey worth the walk if it doesnt get you to the place you wanna go??
Or walk the road as long as it gets you where you want, regardless of how the journey will be??

Would you walk a safer path but to reach a less beautiful destination??
Or would you walk the dangerous route and risk dying before reaching your dream destination??

Would you try out an uncharted route and and hopefully find yourself an isolated remote island??
Or would you follow the crowd and go on a smooth journey but share the island with everyone else??

o.O

Lame Game

2006-08-20T03:55:00.000+08:00

well since i'm mugging in the middle of the night and decided to take a break, yupz will do the dumb test from mingjue.... argh!!! haha

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. NO CHEATING!
~~4. Tag 10 people to play this game too.~~
5. Bold the questions and answers that swack. o.O???

aint gonna sent this out... too lazy wahaha...
mmm will be using my mp3 instead... haha a larger pool of songs huh...
will be cheating la cos some songs(little) dont have their names... haha

How are you feeling today?
=ROCK WITH YOU~ Ashanti =
... mm yupz i'm rocking today with nothing else but homework, relatives playing mahjong and food - pizza and satay- from chomp chomp... haha indeed a rocking day... mm ok maybe i had a 'new' headphone that has a pretty good bass(>.<) will tell you more... -_-'''
Will you get far in life?
*今天你要嫁给我~ Jolin 和陶喆*
haha well of cos i'm gonna get married someday... haha mm... hey my life will go further than just getting married... wanna have kids and a fruitful retirement followed by commiting sucide by standing on a grassplain with a metal stick on top of my head and wait for lightning to strike... wahaha i'm saying the truth okay... thats my dream way of dying when i'm old enough...
oh ya *ps haha thank god its not 明天我要嫁给你... i'll commit sucide now...

How do your friends see you?
+EASY COME EASY GO~ 5566+
mm tink this is the first song that made sense... haha yupz i'm easy going and easily called to come here and there... haha which measy easy 被欺负*hint hint* guess ya i'm seen as a friendly friend ba... = )

Will you get married? -_-'"
do you know how read?? nevermind i'll play along
??麻吉~ MACHI??
o.O??? -_-''' >.< $#~%+=*!!!
okok people i'll get married to machi, satisfied??

What is your best friend's theme song?
`ITS MY LIFE (ACCOUSTIC VERSION)- Bon Jovi`
mm i guess this is for all my friends in particular... mm this is a rock song's accoustic... sorta represent that all of you have lives of ups and downs, work hard play hard, hard on the outside soft on the inside or vice versa, or simply we're a bunch of people with different personalities and interests that simply fit well together... you guys take charge of your own lives and plans your futures... sometimes we might get lost in our individual lives but we know that we can help each other find back our own roads... this is to my friends treasure your lives because i treasure yours... regardless of what, live on, and trust me we'll be happy sharing things about our lives when we get together when we're pretty pretty old... haha...

What is the story of your life?
{NUMB~LINKIN PARK}
yes i'm kinda numb of everything thats around me as you guys have read in my previous posts... haha well numbed of alot of things... the song also show that yes i'm tired of all the pressure thats on me and yet i'm just tired but not excelling... not pushed... and i wonder why...

What was high school like?
kiss night~潘伟柏
shant ellaborate

How can you get ahead in life?
TRICKY TRICKY(HARD CLUB MIX)~Rumble! Feat. Dick Rules
haha the title says it all man... its gonna be tricky to get ahead in life... haha everything must really have to plan ahead... mm haha really everything... no heck care attitude man!!!

What is the best thing about your friends?
^Popcorn (Vereanos Club Mix)~ Verano^
haha perfect song la... haha they're small(look young, not cao lao la), nutty, and they come in sweet or salted... haha and lastly a must-have for movies...

What is in store for this weekend?
& EASY TO BE HARD~ BoA &
mm totally true... mm its so easy to turn something simple (such as clearing a maths paper) into a difficult chore ( cant concentrate) haha yup hope/pray its only this weekend only... and some more hope today's more friutful and this statement doesnt quite come true!!! >.<

What song describes you?
#Fire Coming Out Of The Monkey's Head~Gorillaz feat. Dennis Hopper #
haha what a coincidence, haha i play with fire!! haha kk my og6 people call me a monkey... but hey that makes it fire coming out of monkey's hands... haha mm in this song Monkey is a spirit of the mountain and it burns in wrath as selfish miners destroyed his mountain... love gorillaz.. their songs has a certain feel to it... i cant explain you gotta listen to it urself... haha a bit saddistic a bit nostalgic... haha maybe i'll put up this song... let you guys listen... either this or All Alone...

haha pf and mj's waiting for my posts... haha wonder how long more... argh.. no wonder mj's post around here also become shorter le...

To describe your grandparents?
_WUHA~潘伟柏_
haha omg... how to write this?? haha yupz they rocks and they dote me... haha but they're too old to be wuha~ing... haha

How is your life going?
\炫耀美丽~ Sammi /
yupz...beauitfied with friends by friends... vibrancy made by the fun stuffs in school(library incident) haha and hopefully more coming in spite of the coming A's

What song will they play at your funeral?
.NEVER GONNA LEAVE YOUR SIDE~ Daniel Bedingfield.
a beautiful song... haha mm yupz will surely be one of the songs to be played... haha to tell my loved ones that i'll never leave them and i'll never truely leave this world... haha

How does the world see you?
'SILENCE IS EASY~Starsailor,
haha mm o.O maybe its time i keep my mouth shut... haha sometimes i really felt that i talked tooo much and it has indeed once or twice (or more than that) put me into trouble *zipped* haha thinks its also an irony for me cos its hard for be to stay silent...

Will you have a happy life?
$YOU CANT DO IT~MACHI$
mm... that sounds bleak doesnt it... well let it be a reverse psychology... spite me to do better huh... haha by the way in this song the machis' are discribing how well they are and how accomplished they are and saying that the others cant do what they did... mm haha machi!!!

pf knocked out!!! one down one to go...

What do your friends really think of you?
% FEEL GOOD INC.~ Gorilaz %
haha mm do they feel good about me?? haha mm they wont say the truth of cos... haha we'll see we'll see...

Do people secretly lust after you?
>BE MY VALENTINE~ Don & Drew<
haha omg so qiao... haha mm i doubt anyone would think like that... nay, with my looks?? noooo...
haha maybe its me who secretly lust for others... wahaha would you be my valentine??

How can I make myself happy?
"NOVEMBER HAS COME~ Gorillaz"
mm yupz for every year that's when i'm most happy... no school!!! haha this year is: OH MY GOD NOVEMBER HAS COME LIAO EH!!!!!! haha see how drastic A's can affect someone...

mj knocked out!!! and the winner is jie yan!!! haha

What should you do with your life?
INSANE (CLUB MIX)~ Pulsedriver
nono... trust me i wont... haha unless suddenly something happened... haha like bankrupcy... but even then i wont what... haha i know le!!! cos i'm going to be a teacher(probably) haha then the kids will drive me nuts

Will you ever have children?
@TOO SHY(VASCO & MILLBOY EXTENDED MIX)~Marcinak@
haha i laughed for about a minute or so before typing la... haha mm well for my future and my bloodline guess i wont be too shy la... haha but must get married first la... haha *blush blush*

yes finally done!!!
haha cant believe i took so long... haha
mm well nothnig much happened since i last posted besides the fact that i've been doing maths the past few days and that shit headphone which i bought and i'm still angry about it... a dumb headphone that has a nice packaging den buy le open le den see that shit is bloody ugly in storage la... as in its a small container that cannot fit the whole wire in... dumb rite?? and some more the the person incharge of the headphones doesnt even know how to ekeep the headphone into the container la... absurd... then cannot change cos i opened the package to get it out to see if i'm satisfied for the product... fcuk... haiz blame it on my luck and i tot i could simply get a similiar headphone and go... nevermind then...
yes i've made up my mind... haha fter i tink a month of enjoying after A's i'm gonna find 2 jobs and try to earn 2k per month under NS... haha... i wanna earn alot of money!!!
haha kk late le
gonna sleep liao...
nitez people...
gd morning people... haha tooked 2hrs to do dis neh... haha... now its lyk 3am++haha...
the song now is petrified~ fort minor...

updown week

2006-08-16T00:00:00.000+08:00

haha its been a while since i updated.. mm mugging!! haha... mm so start from jus's birthday ba..

mm went for justin's birthday on 8th august... haha first i arrived late with peifen cos we met on the mrt den went to bei's shop... haha saw tian and the rest-wee beng, connie, xi ying and justin holding onto his water dispenser from us- gift1... then went to play pool for a while... mm cant beat that birthday boy's luck man... he's damn lucky that day la* note this i'll come back haha... mm then the rest came- ming jue, hu nan... down to new york new york for our dinner... mm had to wait for the 2 tai tais so we had a choc fondue... nice!! haha besides that i dont really like the food... haha maybe i tried the wrong stuff- meatball spaghetti... mm after that when the two- xin yu and yiwen- came, gave justin his cutie pink water bottle(gift 2nd) and his CK's eternity men(3rd gift), we eat finish then went down to the crowded esplanade and met xuan sheng for the fireworks... at first we're not so lucky to get a good place but then wee beng, justin and xuan sheng went racky around and found a near to perfect spot for us *told you he's lucky... haha the fireworks was right in front of us and we had no obstructions in our view... and it was beautiful... enjoyed every moment especially the ones that were as though the sparks are gonna pour onto you... want to be a pyrotechnic, whatever its called... sorta puts me playing with fire to a higher level... haha highest i guess... a dream.. dunno if its possible... and i dunno how to start to move for this dream too... haha sort of impossible... haha wonder wonder again...
after that bei join us after work and we went searching for a place to settle down... by then xin yu yiwen hu nan ming jue and wee beng had left and left the few of us... had some drinks, yes liquor... mm some time since i last drank... as in its like before i'm 18 i've got this urge to buy and drink alot, but after i'm 18 it doesnt interest me that much... mm actually it still interest me alot its just that i dont have the temptation to drink... haha rarely now i should say... but i really wanna have a bottle of peach vodka... smells so nice!! haha... mm we end the day by playing truth or dare... mm some stupid stuff happened as usual... circle of trust circle of trust!!

mm went home with pf by nightrider6... she's quite moody after that.. haha she say that i seem to have seen all her different emotions in that week... haha whats the problem with sharing your emotions?? i'll be damn 不舒服 if i always see the happy smiling and cheerful pf... cos that means something's wrong with you and you dont wanna share... very 不健康...

friday went to watch tokyo drift... haiz kena tempted lor... haha mm but its a nice movie- for the fancy cars and the drifting and driving- with a bad plot haha... mm ever seen bikes with nitro canisters?? haha you'd get a glimpse of it... haha yes sooner or later i'm gonna get the soundtrack, haha not bad got alot of cool songs... really 酷...

sun and sat was really slacking days for me... keep falling asleep...

haha monday is such a nice day to start the week... man smooth day... happy happy... just happy cos of a normal and nice day... hard to explain... seems no particular reason... haha even getting punished for talking in the library is funny... haha... mm

ok what punishment you think you guys deserve? mm cannot go library. ya correct blah blah blah scold scold scold so you guys will be barred from the library from 1 week. no problem. dont say no problem! i just want you guys to repent on what you've done
ok you guys can go now. go in and take your bags and leave. thanx. no need say thanx!

mm insider joke... haha bye auntie shirley... see you in a weeks time...

mm taught xin yu maths for calculus... haha dont worry so much xin yu!!! haha be patient... careless only... not that you dunno concept...haha but pretty funny careless... no offense ar... mm especially when i say you on the things you do wrong or careless.. no harm intended if any recieved... haha sometimes i abit blunt so sorry sorry...

went home then something very funny happened... cos i very hot and tired liao cos waited at the interchange very long then perspiring all over le then go up the bus no air con de so i sat at those chairs thats facing each other and i just place my legs over the other side- not on the chair la-and slept... haha woke up the 1st time i saw an auntie sitting opposite me so move abit, scared later my leg hit her... then fall back asleep then woke up cos someone sat beside me... dress like typical gals going jalan jalan so dress not bad la then looks i dunno... haha but just told myself to sleep more to the left nearer to the window in case mm ' accident' happens... mm but wen i woke up the last time i was about to land onto her la!!! i tio shock then quickly moved back into my position and cling on the to the windo bars... haha then realise i missed my busstop... haha so funny la!

today was the complete opposite... haha its those days you know its gonna be bad the moment you wake up... haha wake up hear mother nag... got toothpaste all over my hand then bang onto the toilet door, anyhow style my hair... haha just fed up... worse i took 80 to my old house there then waited very very long that i went to school at ard 7+... not late la... but wah really no mood for the maths test liao... haha... the rest of the day wasnt that bad... but a bad morning = bad day...

mm haha long entry ba... tian ask me y nv update... mm she seems troubled again... shir shir also... shir shir dont so troubled can?? haha pw going finish liao... 忍a few more months and its over!! jia you jia you!!! and good luck for piano exma!!! you can de as long as you dont overstress yourself... haha me tired liao almost 1am le... hope its a better morning tommorrow.. cos i need all the luck in the world for 1 gp consultation... haha cya guys...

bleachin

2006-08-06T22:37:00.000+08:00

a fruitless weekend... haha friday went bugis walk walk and ate ajisen... haha love it sia so shiok the food... but damn ex... spent 20 there lor broke le... mm sat morning go marina square then after that go my real cousin大姐's 21st birthday celebration... mm she grow up le although still look like a secondary school kid la... haha 2day go her house again still talk with her about her future and her 终生大事 haha... well we've all grown up le, all mature le... but some things change some things just doesnt...

anyway kinda hoping for next week to come faster... mm hope to focus more next week...

must be thinking why my blog so 'bleach' (the anime) de... well is it really that hard to guess?? mm yupz something to do with my brother again... must be tired of reading all those le right?? mm for those who're irritated about me talking about my bro or felt that i'm attracting attention, then you can jolly well close this webpage cos i dont give a damn...
mm cos its my brother who introduce me to bleach... i think garry was even earlier to mention about bleach but i wasnt interested... it was when my bro downloaded the 1st 2 episodes of bleach when i got hooked... i doubt he liked it very much cos i watch much much further then him... he's much interested in other animes i guess... bleach means something to me for him... i'm not really a hardcore fan of bleach...this song's also from bleach... this song meant something to me cos it brings about a certain pain or loss... it just has the feeling of pain thats from deep inside you... a pain of loss or the fear of losing... den when it reaches the end it's much lighter... maybe to show that there's always warmth even though you're low...

i'm wondering why am i blogging so much about my bro recently... maybe this is the hungry ghost festical... maybe the longer you lose someone the more you miss him... there is never a day i've stopped thinking about him... its just naturally there... for my friends: i know its like sometimes i'll say aomething about my bro when we're having fun or juz chilling out... please let me say... mm its the only way for me to feel that he's beside me, with me and not gone yet... its tough... i juz wanna say stuff about him... its like if there's anything that we're talking about that make me remember things in the past about him just let me say it out... because only then i can piece out all the memories i had with him... many thanx...

hate

2006-08-05T01:28:00.000+08:00

HATE -revised

who says it's easier to love than to hate...

when you love...

you wonder whether he/she loves u not?

you wonder if he/she minds you loving him/her?

you wonder if you mind loving him/her?

you wonder if what you're doing is correct?

you wonder if did anything wrong

you wonder if you should do anything

you wonder if did you do too much?

you wonder if its alright you did nothing
you wonder what you're gonna do next
you wonder what he/she'll do/react

you wonder if he/she is irritated by what you're doing

you wonder is there anyone else loving him/her?

you wonder are you in love with somebody else?
you wonder are you in love with somebody else too??
you wonder whether your love justified?

you wonder what type of love you're showering on him/her?

you wonder what type of love he/she's giving you
you wonder if you really love him/her?
you wonder if he/she really love you?

you wonder if he/she will ever fall for you

you wonder if your love will last
you wonder when will your love end
you wonder if your love for a friend was more than that actually
you wonder if your love for a guy/gal was simply friendship
you wonder if you can ever treat him/her as just a friend
you wonder if he/she'll ever treat you as just a friend
you wonder if true love really exist
you wonder if true friendship really exist

you wonder so much

you wonder too much

and you wont stop wondering...

but

when you hate...

you stop wondering,

sometimes you dont even remember why

you just hate...

hard??

i doubt so...

HATE:

Having

Acceptance

Towards

Everyone

irony isnt it?

NeW MeZ

2006-08-05T00:45:00.000+08:00

mm didnt have the time to update my blog recently... and nothing much to blog about too... its like there's nothing much happening... feeling the werid and drifty feeling again... mm... but one thing's for sure: i've gotten back most of my motivation to study... haha well except for phy... really dunno how to start mugging for it... its like my secondary school habit still exist... can still remember sleeping in mr tan's phy lessons, and he knows la... haiz now every phy lesson 1st half an hour sure sleep... maybe its my mindset... trying hard 2 keep myself awake... mm guess its time to bring my lighter to school again... welll guilty to mr soh... such a good teacher but i dont appreciate... haiz...

haha the past week i think since tues ba, been drinking yang ming jiu... haha quite useful for the 1st 2days but at thurs night mom poured too little then, yesterday night i sleept too late... help me to keep awake in class sia... wun even sleep in boring lecture... will still be tired for the day but wun fall asleep... dunno y... so good lor since i wanna pay more attention le... worked for the tues phy practical lessons...

haha so qiao... wanted to type something related to my brother, then volume up the radio and its 'where'd you go' - Fort Minor

mm the old jieyan's gone... dead when my brother passed away and brought it along when he left... it seems that i'll never be my old self again-like what raymond (my LTC facil) says... the old me doesnt care about my future... the old me thinks about death as a solution... the old me thinks that my brother will succeed me in everythink so i dont have to care about all the things at home... the old me sees myself as the burden to my family... the old me sees things differently, he's a selfish asshole... the new me was brought out under the extreme circumstance... brought out through a horrible experience... forced to be by pressure from everyone and myself...

i've got a burden now... very huge one... so much pressure from everyone... now that i'm the only son... it seems that all hopes are on me... so many to think about that i've never think before... so many things about my future... so many things i need 2 do... need to accomplish... need to fulfil so many stuff.... i'm not complaining... maybe the old me will but not who i am now... maybe i'm numbed... too numb... i noe i need to change... so ya i need to do that...

well used to think that i could depend everything on my brother... always expecting him to be scoring much better than me... expecting him to be there if anything happens to the computer... expecting that if i could just die there is still him in the house... expecting that even if i dun get married he carry still carry on the family line... expecting that i will always be the bad boy of the house and he'd be the good one...

ya had a chat with raymond after his interrogation session... mm had a long chat on life... haha and to convince me to be more confident... dunno if i'm go try out the LTC facil... mm interested but mm dunno if i hav the time to spare... september's got a day of training... just scared later my momentum break then die...

mm holiday week coming... got jus's birthday coming... mm gotta study for thermodynamics for chem test after the holiday... study!!! haha...

in life you just lived life for granted and when sometihing tragic happeneds to you that make you realise that you have a group of people that you have to care and love and take care of, you'll be more responsible... because you'll have a responsibility to do so... you'll understand more about life... and when it really does, u'll change for the better...

reflect...

2006-07-25T00:34:00.000+08:00

i'll start with the happy stuff 1st for today... haha 大姐's birthday tomorrow.. haha but we gave her an early celebration today... mm pon the phy lecture cos everyone doesnt want to go... tried hard disturbing yiwen to follow me go lor... mm and junyuan say today's the friendly and one of the best phy lecturer, haiz a bit regret... so stayed for a while and went out to but connie's cake...mm went back, everyone gathered, den we ordered the pizza... and in a while we're ready for the celebration... mm something funny happened even though i still dont see why is it so funny that peifen's got cramps after laughing too much... mm something about misplacing connie's gift... anyway sing song-blow cake den its the cream on the face time... haha connie started chasing everyone else after being attacked by someone... haha i dont even remember who but ya went ran around a bit... mm in the end it was pizza time and yupz chat a while then its time to go home... was intending to stay late to play truth or dare or anything... mm just wanna spend more time... but then 有补习的去补习，没有补习的得回家吃饭。so went home kind of early... mm anyway chat a bit on the bus with pf about how she can laugh so much over a small matter, but didnt continue cos well if i were to chat with her and make laugh then i think later must reroute to changi hospital liao... fell asleep but woke up just in time...

thoughts：
有时觉得我怪时，很可能我有心事。
只是选择不讲，选择封闭。
我笑时，很可能我只不过是在逞强罢了。
因为心里的话说不出口。

tom goes to school late... the teacher scolds him and demanded him to wake up earlier for school

so the next day tom woke up earlier and went to school he was caught sleeping in lectures

Te: why you sleep in lecture??

To: sorry cher... had to wake up early so very tired...

Te: dont sleep in the lecture! if i catch you again you'll be sent out!

then later he was caught for chatting in the lecture

Te: why are you chit chatting during the lecture?

To: no cher i can only stay awake if i discuss with my friend

Te: why are you so sleepy?? cant you sleep earlier so that you'll have enough sleep??

so tom followed the instructions and slept early

next day he was caught not doing homework

Te: why didnt you do the tutorials??

To: i need to sleep early so that i wont sleep in the lecture thats why i dont have enough time to do my tutorials...

Te: cant u sleep lesser?? young man you dont need so much sleep do finish your homework before you sleep...

and the cycles continues with tom being late because he woke up late because he stayed up late because he had to finish his tutorials...

-THE END-

mm for the sad stuff now... mm had to go for some ritual tomorrow for my brother... gonna miss school but its okay... mm just that in the morning pf asked me some questions... kind of hard to answer... maybe i'll answer here ba... mm its hard not to think of him... he's the only brother i've had... and even though there are times when i hated him, still he's the one i spend the most time squabbling, fighting, chatting, watching show, its like the most brother brother i've had... he's the one i'll secretly cared, the one i'll protect if there's the need... the one i'll want to guide... whenever he disrespects me i'll be very angry cos i really treat him as a brother... and its like the around a month before the accident that i felt that our relationship strenghtened as brothers... cos i've really grown up to care for him already and he's less an asshole to me as before... we've more things to chat about and its the 1st time i felt that our generation gap has shranked... mm its like in the past i always tell the others that even with just 3years difference in age, we're having a gen gap... he's passing really affected me la... even on the smallest stuffes... its like when i went to watch x-men3, the 1st thing that just naturally popped into my mind was to tell him about the whole show when i go home-which was what i used to do... when i completed the 1st gundam after he passed away, i felt like shit... i was thinking to myself: "what the hell am i doing this... y am i making the gundams so nice when there's no one to show off to... no one to share my joy... "

there are times went i really felt empty at home... its like now there's so much emptiness that i cant replace nor can i salvage... its like when you see you're parents staring out into the window you know that they're missing him... but there's nothing you can do... i'm feeling very lost... maybe because i feel a need to replace my brother's position in the family and yet i couldnt... i know there's no way i could but there is nothing else i could do or i know could help...my relatives tell me i dont have to replace my brother or anything else... and now i know i can only be happy at home... smile... let them feel that there's nothing wrong with me... i know i cant be weak when i'm with them... i cant show how much i'm affected... cos they'll be even more sad... i know that since the 1st day of my brother's condition... i told myself that i'll be strong for my parents... i never really cried throughout the 13days he's int he icu... its only was right at the moment after the shutters close behing his coffin during the cremation...

i wanted to be normal, i cant... how can anyone be... i'm very much lost in my feelings now... for everything around me... there was never a day when i stop thinking about him... i'll have flashbacks now and then.. of the time we spent... pf asked me whether i hate the driver... i dont know... i really dont... i dont know what i'll be feeling the next time i see him... what will i feel towards the man that has shattered the hearts of my parents... the man who took away my brother... the man who's responsible for everything... maybe i'll be angry... maybe i will pity him for he also has to suffer through the journey... that'll have to depends on what he says then... whether or not he has the conscience... i dont know... i really dont wish to hate him... but if it has to be...................we'll see... we'll see...

it is true that you'll cherish the things you had once they're gone...
and u'll never cherish them no matter how hard you try
you'll always take everything in life for granted...
even for the things that has been lost and found again...
you'll never learn...
because its hard for you to accept the fact that
someday,
somehow,
somewhere,
u'll lose them...
and you'll never get it back...
i cant tell you to cherish the things you have...
because its of no use...
all i can say is...
think for others more...
share the love...
you'll understand when the time comes
or you already know...

tragic

2006-07-23T15:25:00.000+08:00

mm sad day... haiz... woke up at around 1, den had lunch then my parents dont allow me to go out le... cos i've gotta go my aunt's house at around 5.. and the yv carnival is at singapore poly...

did homework the afternoon... and went my relative house to have dinner... was very boring... nothing to do there... all either of older generation or younger... bored...
was goin home when i saw a traffic accident... mm was between a bike and a car... it was at a cross junction not very far from my house nearer to hougang green area...mm the bike crashed into the passenger side of the front portion of the car... the side window was shattered and the glass pieces were on the floor... the front of the bike was badly damaged and there was blood on the floor... there was only the driver and i think the biker was sent to the nearest hospital... changi...

maybe the family are outside the emergency room waiting... hoping... praying...
maybe they're at the icu, praying that he wakes up...
maybe they're worried... sad... crying...
maybe they're thinking of all the bad things thats gonna happened...
maybe they're already mourning.. cos he/she's gone...
maybe...

the sotong palace

2006-07-23T15:19:00.000+08:00

yes finally, we've been able to venture into the palace of queen sotong on friday... haha woke up at 9.30 and i'm suppose to meet the rest of them and bring them to the palace... fancy the king being a guide for a queen of another empire...hmph!! haha mm well i woke up to see meng jiat's message saying that she's early... haha omg i was so shock to check the time out la... cos my handphone shows 8.10, while her message was 9.30... i went to the living room and check out the clock, and it was really 9.30( that means my handphone went cukoo again...) mm i rushed into my room snatched a set of clothes and went into the toilet, doing everything in 1 go... my morning business, brushing teeth, bathing, styling hair... haha i guess even dad doesnt know i went into the toilet before i'm ready to go out le... haha...

queen had to mislead me when i'm the one who told her how to recognise the busstop...haiz when we reach justin was there already... the dog toffy was a cute dog old 1 in fact... tires easily... haha slacked the whole afternoon doing god knows what... haha.. played with sean and sarah, pf's nephew and niece, mm sarah is very adorable... when she came to pf's house she interacted with meng jiat and me first... wasnt scared of any of us and when we're watching tv she'll come over to tap on my shoulder, looked at me den walked away... i love kids but i'm bad with carrying them... seldom had the experience and i'm afraid of hurting them when i'm that clumsy... so i didnt really wanted to carry them but in the end still tried on sean... queen's sister's kid are so friendly... that reminds me of my niece which is incredibly the opposite... always had a grumbled/angry face... and very easily irritated by everyone... but when she smiles, its equally adorable... she's pretty afraid of me... cos of one of the first few impressions of me... haha that time i was at her house and she saw me playing withe my cousin around the age of 8, then i was like trying to bite him, which is simply playing, but to her it was as though i was really going to eat him up.. so she started crying and i dunno what to do liao... haha...

we went over to queen's sister's house for a while before we left... wow a large golden retriever with a strong smell and another smaller dog... mm i left pf's house and was on my way to my niece's house... yes the 1 i just mention... cos it's her younger sister's full month celebration... had buffet but i was pretty much full by the lunch made by pf's sister...

the passing of one brings about the beginning of another
the young reflects the old
time has affected all of us... and soon
everything that is living will become the ones who lived...
let time pass for us and let it enriches us with the experiences in life...
so that when we passes on, it brings about the joy of the living and the peace of the dead...

thinking

2006-07-18T15:57:00.000+08:00

haha was thinking to start with its been a boring 2days for me so i didnt posted... haha but wasnt goin to lie... mm juz too lazy to blog...

went to watch superman returns on mon... wasnt a bad movie... except they made lex look like a five year old kid trying to take over the world... and the gang look seriously like they're from the new circus crew... especially the scene with the toy trains and the model towns, where the gang with lex standing with the female accomplice and the rest of the gang behing, they look alot like new the new circus crew in town... Luther comedy act... to think that made lex smart and sly character... disappointed...

speaking of superman reminds me about xmen... since the director's the one who made xmen2 and gave up xmen3 for superman... mm i've got lotsa of views for it... prior to the change of director on the news, there was actually the threatening of halle berry to quit xmen as the original script had her as a minor role or too little scenes... which i think eventually leads to the change of script and i would presume the change of director...

well.. i would very much prefer to give up halle berry for a better xmen3... it sucked completely... sorta change the whole theme of xmen and killed all the characters so as to make halle berry and hugh jackman the stars of the show... lost the 'feel' of xmen where it is a goup not 2 heros, a team not 2 sophisticated characters and a bunch of kids...haiz.. and i would be representive to the whole of marvel fans that a change in the actress wouldnt affect the feeling of the show, as she isnt the most important charcter in xmen... maybe to the director/preoducer/scriptwriter but i doubt the audience or specifically the fans would think so... and one last thing that set me on fire was that they destroyed my dream: marvel vs the apocalyspe.. imagine all the charcters of marvel comics coming together to make 1 ultimate movie!!! omg!!!

for yesterday nothing much happened... only that i was being bullied by xinyu the whole of afternoon... treated like her male maid... argh!!! haha... she needs help just wave her hand then expect me to come sia!! haha... mm anyway ya went to see xinyu's blog... haiz okok not very pretty but ya decent... haha sorry la cannot imagine you when pf say saw u dress up very pretty... ok fine i'm sorry ok, please accept my sincere apologies, if my actions caused distress or confusion to you the princess sotong... 'no, sorry also must explain'... wahaha...

haiz everyone seems to be brooding over one thing or another recently me inclusive... tian was sad about something, connie dunno y, seems quieter and moody... yz being worried about her injuries... everyone's troubled... the cursed month... and i'm changing my holiday mood to a more serious one, to do work and hopefully improve my grades!!!

was thinking of writing some sinister stuff at the end of the blog... like what i did on the old blog on friendster... but haiz save it for some other day ba... bye...

was thinking, was thinking...
maybe i think too much...
maybe i havent been thinking enough...
maybe maybe

was thinking.. thought of... thought...forgotten...

Feeling Blue

2006-07-15T17:56:00.000+08:00

Why do i like to enter a post late into the night?? when my eyes are blurred, my mind is blur, everything is blur? why do i feel that i'm clearest of myself when i'm blur?? my life is a blur... blur... peifen sparked a though recently... garry's nick too... ignorance is bliss... mm i gues it is indeed... when you're less aware u're less troubled... the more you know, the more you dont know... i'm tired of mixed feelings, mixed emotions, mixed thoughts, and so many questions...

Friday was a boring day for me... morning 2 lectures den taught yiwen and wee beng stats although i seriousy think that they dont need my help... 3hours of break and tried 2 finish my poisson... followed by 2 sleepy lessons of Chem & GP... failed my GP as usual... know that my essay sucked but was pretty much disappointed with my peper2, the only paper that i had hope... followed by last period of PE... last PE lesson in my life... got C9 during the cmpb checkup so no need ippt no need napha... then meet up with xinyu jus pf connie n meng jiat to eat dinner at bugis' bk... wow now can add toppings to your whopper jr. so shiok... added american chese and turkey bacon and it turned out well... 1st time went bugis street feeling cool and mood for shopping... but jus' hurring for tuition so didnt stop much... a bit wasted but there's always chance...shopping mood recently... so much so that they gave me the name shopping king...

Today was a short day... woke up at 12.30 ate lunch slack and played com... dinner out cos grandma's birthday... mm wasnt a really good dinner... cos of the super hot asam crab... something made me really sad- grandma couldnt recognise me... bad memory so not really sad about it but it was that the only things she said to me in teary eyes was 'ah cai like that gone liao'... and after that we stop by a china import cd stall and it was playing kiss goodbye... the song that i chose for him for his blog...

life simply sucked...
it doesnt have to be this way but it is...
stil living a meaningless life
i want to find a dream... a goal, something i want in life...
still searching... i hope i find it
cos i dont wanna live my life fulfiling obligations to everyone else
and none to me...
i dont wanna regret everything i've done by doing nothing or
acheiving nothing in particular
i just wana lived a life worth living...
izit that hard??

13 july 2006

2006-07-13T16:37:00.000+08:00

life's been bad... bad results... BEO... especially chem... its been like that since i started jc chem...i studied, i mugged, but still an O... wrong study method?? maybe i should start doing more questions... maybe it helps... was havin the shittiest mood recntly... determined to give up... shant continue... was hoping for some more fun after mids... considering i'm still in holiday mood... mm remembered the past week before my mood sucked, was pretty much enjoying life after mids... went shopping, went arcade, bought 2 gundams, played pool... and i guess the most interesting thing would be me getting a pink, white and purple striped polo tee... 1st ever pink/purple shirt in my life... OMG and they say i look good in it... mm should go out with dksyj with that... haha and then all of us can wear pink/purple together...

still missing my brother like mad... it's never been this quiet in the house and most of all i guess it affected me much more than i expected... now i worry for my parents now and than and my mind keeps flashing images of the whole incident from start till it ended... this sux...

schools been very sucky too... new timetable simply sucks... longer days more empty breaks... was being optimistic about finding teachers for consultation during these timings but remembered me telling the teachers that i'll be meeting them durin the june holidays and in the end i didnt sort of bring me back to the realistic me... but but but A's coming... maybe this will make me wanna do more...
been closer to xinyu and peifen this few days... xinyu because i've been having the urge to tease her everytime i see her and also cause she's been my confidant today... haiz somehow i seem to tell her alot... mm but she doesnt tell me much... peifen because we go back home together ever since she moved to seng kang... mm an also cause she's another confidant and also a target of my suaning...
went back home with peifen today and lucky her la, got a chance to suan me back... tease me about this little baby laughing at me and drooling... and she couldnt stop laughing!!! omg... its just a baby...haha.. mm anyway we didnt fall asleep like we did yesterday and ya was thinking that maybe the bubble tea auntie added too much sugar in our bubble teas... high sugar level... but something proved me wrong... when i went home i recieved a message from peifen saying that she overslept......... ya dots.........
well enjoyed the company of the clique i'm with most of the time in school... been thinking of a clique name but than someone siad who's really in the clique and who's not?? mm maybe its a group of frenz who came together because of byg... even those that didnt participated in byg(shawn xinyu etc) but got to know everyone else through CCS and BYG because of friends... BYGgies... haha thats the 1st name that came into mind

mm y i'm writin so much on my 1st actual post... mm maybe i like to talk to myself and finally got my own blog...

well signing off now.. gotta finish poisson tutorial before mr heng whacks me tml...

[windy] - jie-

YUPZ ITS READY

2006-07-13T15:56:00.000+08:00

yes. this blog is finally online... i'm an idiot in bloggin so took some time and with the help of others this blog is ready to show...
i'm sure most of those who know this blog knows me well enough so wouldnt be wasting too much time on introduction...

i'm someone who is forgetful, lazy, slacker... someone who loves being with true friends and enjoys the company of people that cheers me up... lived the past 18 years with tons of regrets and anticipating more... still searchin for my talents... saddistic and loves blood(donation)... thinks alot, troubles alot, enjoys alot, trust alot, feels alot...

Xtra
i'm juz a guy drifting in the world, enjoying friends and most of all looking forward... not that i'm optimistic but i just need to see whats ahead... it helps when you're low, gives you the push in the darkest hours... i guess i'm also someone who's got a multi- personality... sorta helps me alot in life cos life's changin and my character is irratic... maybe i'm just someone who runs away from my real self... all i know is that it helps me in different situations and yet sometimes i get so confuse over who i should be... i just want to be someone who has a dream... i'm still searchin...

devil in disguise...
devil is in me, i know, sooner or later its gonna be out... hoping the angel comes out often

devil in disguise...
a techno song... nice but shant give you guys headache so wouldnt be putting up

devil... see u guys soon